Pond. Jill Pond. :: Copy Strategist

Words That Sell

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Is Clarity Worth Paying For? Hell Yes, It Is.

 

Goldilocks was sort of a dumbass, but she did get one thing right – she looked for the perfect fit.

She didn’t go for TOO MUCH.
She turned up her nose at NOT ENOUGH.
And she scoffed at NOT QUITE RIGHT.

I mean, she’s not my business mentor or anything ridiculous like that, but I do try and channel her as I grow my business.

Weird, right?

But here I am, after a handful of “careers” [aspiring stripper (too much) sex ed teacher (not quite right) door-to-door vacuum salesman (not enough)], working successfully as a marketing strategist.

And I’m growing like a glorious weed that takes up space wherever it wants, unapologetically and with little regard to the rules.

And you?

When it’s time to grow, I bet the Goldilocks principle fucks with your mojo and makes it really hard to become a millionaire…

Why? Because pinpointing that sweet spot where your doing things you love and are good at, while also doing things to scale is haaaaard.

Do new tech? Do you want me to die?
Create a stricter budget? Why don’t you just ask me to saw off my left foot?
Go to networking events? Ummm, do you even know me?
Drum up more qualified leads? Why can’t they just find me?
Be methodical in my own biz? OMG, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

Know what I mean?

We want to stay happily nestled in our zones of genius and cross our fingers that the growth happens organically.

Bahahahahahahhaaaa. Nice one, you saucy minx.

Do you ever feel like you’re in a forest – a dense AF one, with pumas n’ shit, and all you see are big-ass trees, a bunch of green, and maybe it even smells like anxiety (or cadavers – maybe it’s puma-eaten cadavers you smell)…

You’re so tangled up inside your head that you can’t see your big picture as you try to grow.

And if you can’t see the big picture, the little steps from here to there are disjointed and pointless because, HOW CAN YOU GET WHERE YOU’RE GOING IF YOU HAVE NO DESTINATION IN MIND????

Ugh. Truth.

That’s why we all need help finding clarity.

Last night, a very generous internet friend gifted me 3 HOURS of her time to sift through my shit and get clear on where I’m going with my business.

God, was it helpful to have another set of dedicated eyes on my smorgasbord of ideas, goals, and dreams.

I got a few, “nopes” (that idea is bullshit).
I got some, “maybes” (yes, that could work).
And I got a couple “YES-YES-YES’s (now you’re fucking talking).

Best of all? It emptied my head of the bullshity stuff and made room for viable ideas to take seed and GROW.

Think about where you want to go, who you want to help, what change you want to make, and how you can do it. Do you have a clear path from here to there?

If not, it’s time to do some work.

I can help. If you need me, I’ll just be over here eating pickled carrots and waiting for you.

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The Blood Of A Changemaker: When You Want MORE

Why are you even here?

To make a little money so you have the freedom to live your life the way you want?

OR…

Is there MORE?

Srsly. WHAT CHANGE ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE with the work you do?

If you’re anything like me, eventually, you’ll grow bored AF of doing work that lacks meaning. It’s not enough to be great at what you do, it’s not enough to have a bank full of cash, and it’s not enough to work with people who lack the drive to make a profound difference in the world.

You want MORE.

…more than freedom
…more than money
…more than happiness
…more than that that Louis Vuitton bag you’ve been eyeing like forever

You want to make CHANGE with the work you do, don’t you?

You, my friend, have the blood of changemaker.

So? Tell me – what matters to you? What change are you trying to make?

I want gut-stirring, can’t-sleep-because-I’m-too-excited, paradigm-shifting purpose that lights me up and drives me to show up in a REALLY BIG WAY.

You?

What’s your MORE look like?

You know that unrelenting whisper in the very back of your mind that’s vague and familiar all at once?

There’s a vibe to it that buzzes through your body, but you can’t define it, you can’t translate the fragments of information that come to you randomly, and you certainly can’t put it on paper.

It’s a longing, a desire, the pain of unmet potential…

It’s your MORE.

And it gets worse with time, demanding to be heard- that you heed its call… but you can’t.

It’s too slippery, too fuzzy, too vague.

How the FUCK do you scratch that kind of itch?

Another online course?

Fuck no. You’d never finish it anyway – you’re tired as hell of courses.

And besides, extraordinary doesn’t happen in a vacuum – it happens in action, in the world, under the light of the blazing yellow sun…

It happens as you DO.

And it grows as you DO.

And it becomes clear as you DO.

So, whaddaryagonnado??

My best advice (for now, in this moment) is this:

Admit to yourself that even though you don’t know what it is yet… you want MORE and goddammit, you’re gonna find it.

Pinky swear it.

Inspired to take action?

Answer these questions and see if it sparks something MORE for you… if so, write about it and see where it takes you. Can you create a new service out of it?

1. What makes you superfucking angry about our world/society/your industry?
2. What makes you superfucking excited about our world/society/your industry?
3. What’s the most dominant aspect of your personality when you’re in your zone of genius?

Now get thee gone and enter thyself into a deep meditative trance to see what shakes loose or some shit like that.

You know I love your face, right?

Hit me up if you want some private Pond time. I can do some fancy consulty shit with you that brings you closer to your MORE. It’s all about running the right experiment with the right goggles and beakers and chemicals and hypothesiseseses, yeah?

Just hit navigate on over to my contact page and tell me what’s on yer mind.

And I love when everyone posts in the Facebook group, Peculiar Exclusivity – bring your questions, inspirations, frustrations, and MORE. I’ll do my best to give you some TLC!

Hug, hug. Kiss, kiss.

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Foreign Farts, Sweary Jewelry, and Finding Your Purpose

What’s your purpose?
What were you put in this earth to do?
What do you have to offer?

Who, me? Well, I tell a mean band camp story (this one time, in high school, I farted directly into my Scottish foreign exchange student’s ear)…

I can talk with my mouth semi-closed and really pisses my husband off (he hates it when I do that)…

And I can rock the fuck out of sweary jewelry at fancy events (the FUCK FUCKITY FUCK necklace is always a conversation starter at weddings)…

Srsly, why the fuck am I even here?

If you haven’t found your calling yet, you’re not alone. I’m not exactly sure why I’m on this big ole chunk of planet, but I’m pretty damn sure I’m not 100% doing my THING just yet.

The good news: I love my job – bringing other people’s vision to life with my writing is fulfilling AF.

But there’s MORE.

Wanna know what really gets me all juiced up?

  • Being a catalyst for women who want to marry who they are to what they do.
  • Being an inspiration that makes them believe they can dream it and do it.
  • Connecting and entertaining while teaching and leading.But there’s this little thing called fear that whispers in my ear…

… you can’t do it.
… you’re not smart enough.
… you don’t know enough.
… nobody wants to hear from you.
… you aren’t qualified.
… you’re a nobody.
… you’re a fuck up and always will be.

WHOA, motherfucker. That’s some mean shit.

It takes some goddamn balls to tell those voices to shuddup and get gone, and honestly, I’ve just recently realized that I’m tired of going it alone and I want some damn help.

I need someone who can simultaneously hold my hand and kick my ass as I walk through the fear and GO FOR IT anyway.

Oddly, I don’t really have an end-goal in mind just yet, but I have this weird pull in my gut that moves me forward and into the unknown.

Today, I joined a mastermind with an amazing woman I met this week. I took an action that was fueled by faith. Faith that asking for help is gonna get me closer to where I’m going.

I said YES to the next leg of the journey.

And you? Do you know where you’re going?

Whatever your answer, the thing to remember is that we’re in this together and I want you to consider this a tap on the shoulder that says…

I SEE YOU.

On a journey of your own, working your ass off and shooting for the stars.

And you wanna know what?

I’m here for you as you go left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot…

If you need some hand-holding or ass-kicking, you know where to find me, right?

Hug-hug. Kiss-kiss.

Your pardner in crime, Jill.

(Ms. Pond if you nasty).

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Making Your Website Your Secret Weapon

Your industry is crowded – saturated, in fact.

You’re competing with ten tons of hungry entrepreneur for the attention of your target market – it’s imperative you stand out.

How do you do it? How do you claw your way to the top o’ the pile so you can be seen?

Make your website your secret weapon.

Rewind a few months…

I was looking to partner with a marketing and sales funnel strategist for an upcoming project and so I put out the call in a large Facebook group for digital marketers.

“Hi guys – I’m looking for a funnel expert to partner up with. Drop the link to your website and I’ll be in touch.”

Within minutes, I had 80 responses. I started the arduous task of sifting through the comments while mindlessly shoving salt and vinegar chips into my face (I know you just drooled – don’t lie).

There was this one woman who PM’d me and man, she sounded PERFECT! She said all the right things and had the exact set of skills that I wanted. I asked to see her website…

She sent it.

I looked it over.

Red flags. Alarm bells. Sirens abound.

I felt betrayed.

Her website did NOT speak to any of the skills she told me she had AND it showcased an entirely different set of services that were totally unrelated to the funnel expert I was expecting.

Her website f*cked her chances of getting my business because the only thing it inspired in me was suspicion.

This woman is LYING.
She’s a beginner trying to come off as an expert.
She’s not trustworthy.

Moving right along…

I passed her by faster than a cat can vomit on the only square foot of carpet in a 10-mile radius.

When you treat your website like a lure – the most attractive, delicious, and irresistible piece of real
estate on your slice of the internet… it becomes the secret weapon that wins clients and makes you money.

Here’s why the copy and messaging on your website MUST be good.

WHEN I WAS NEW, I WON CLIENTS OVER MORE EXPERIENCED COPYWRITERS BECAUSE MY WEBSITE KICKED ASS.

When I was a copywriting kindergartener, I spent hours writing magical AF copy for my website. I didn’t really know WTF I was doing, and though I was an excellent writer, I lacked any training or experience in the art of writing actual copy.

That didn’t stop me from getting jobs. I’d see someone looking for a copywriter in a Facebook group and BOOM! I was all up in there slapping my website link up for all to see and, whaddyaknow… more often than not, I got the gig.

Why? Because people loved my website and the way it made them feel and they were convinced I could help them make their customers feel that way too.

WHEN YOUR WEBSITE DOESN’T ACCURATELY REFLECT WHO YOU SAY YOU ARE, IT MAKES POTENTIAL CLIENTS SUSPICIOUS OF YOUR EXPERTISE.

Do you show up on your website the same way you show up in person?

Do you have an easygoing confidence that clients love, but have a stick-up-the-ass About Page that’s dryer than burnt toast dipped in the crumbs of more burnt toast?

Or maybe you’re a witty snark-master who everyone jokes with, but the copy on your site has less personality than a dead, bloated worm floating aimlessly in the remains of yesterday’s rain…

Either way, when you claim to be one way and your website copy portrays you as something else, it makes people uneasy about hiring you.

Sumthin’ just ain’t right…

Don’t you want the carpet to match the drapes? Perhaps that’s the (very) wrong acronym, but you get the gist…

WHEN YOUR WEBSITE DOESN’T ACCURATELY REFLECT WHAT YOU SAY YOU DO, IT MAKES POTENTIAL CLIENTS SUSPICIOUS OF YOUR EXPERTISE.

Back to the lady with the shit website – the red flags, the alarm bells, the feeling of deception and betrayal her website inspired in the depths of my soul…

Seriously, nobody takes anybody’s word for ANYTHING these days and if your website is anything less than a glorious storefront for your business, you’re missing out.

Would you go into a store to buy designer heels that displays camping grills, fishing gear, and shotguns in their window?

If so, here’s my therapist’s number…

WHEN YOUR WEBSITE HAS MIXED MESSAGES BECAUSE YOU SKIPPED THE BRAND STRATEGY WORK, IT MAKES POTENTIAL CLIENTS SUSPICIOUS OF YOUR EXPERTISE.

Website copy born from a few janky questionnaires isn’t enough. If you want messaging and copy that tag-teams your cause (getting more clients, making more money), the groundwork must be done and done right.

Did your target market or competition influence your copy, or was it built in a vacuum that reeks of bla neutrality?

Did you consider what makes you different from your competitors and leverage that to position yourself strategically in the crowded market you’re trying to dominate?

These are just the basics, but you’d be surprised at how many people make it ALL ABOUT THEMSELVES and lose the opportunity to win over the customer because the copy misses the mark.

I don’t blame them, though – I didn’t know these things before I became a copywriter. That’s why it’s good to hire an expert – so you don’t have to waste your time with the stuff you’re not paid to do.

WHEN YOUR WEBSITE HAS BAD, SUCKY COPY, IT MAKES POTENTIAL CLIENTS SUSPICIOUS OF YOUR EXPERTISE.

I feel like I shouldn’t even explain this but I will.

The copy on your website is your sales guy or gal. If they’re wearing dirty, wrinkled clothes that smell like onion soup served up in an ashtray, the customer is gonna be like, HELLS NO.

If they show up speaking a language the customer doesn’t understand… Buh-byeEEEE.

If they’re indifferent and not passionate in their sales pitch… Not today, not ever.

Make your website your secret weapon.

Do the work, hire the copywriter (ahem), and suit up to play the game.

You deserve more than a bland, boring, poorly written website that fails to capture leads and help close sales.

Want to know how to write an About Page that doesn’t suck?
Head on over to my site HERE and scroll on down to the bottom to opt dafuq in.

Want to chat about hiring me to do the dirty work for you?
Contact me HERE to get started.

Catch you on the flip side and here’s to kicking website shame to the curb FOREVER!

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How Giving Less F*cks Helps You Give The Right F*cks

“Give Less F*cks.
Be More You.
Sell THAT To The World.”

That  up there? That’s the big, giant, huge, unapologetic headline on the Home Page of my website and it terrifies me daily for a handful of reasons. My fears relate back to life on both a personal basis and a professional one, and if I’m being honest, I’m always afraid.

Yeah, I’m afraid of judgment and meanie-pants people, but I’m mostly worried about chickening out and giving up on who I really am.

That part of me that’s dying to be seen and heard…

That part of me that wants to inspire others and be a catalyst for change…

That part of me that wants to cash in on what makes me authentically me so I can NOT spend my days feeling like a fraud because I’ve shoved myself in a box that doesn’t make sense.

I want to fully step into who I am, free from the chains of other people’s judgment, so I can do what I love and attract my kind of people into my life and my business.

But (there’s always a but) it’s hard and here’s why:

Reason #1: What will people think of me?

Potential clients, peers in my industry, my daughters’ teachers… even my parents, for god’s sake.

The very thing I’m preaching is a daily struggle, because, let’s face it, when you’re the type of person who has trouble seeing your own value, giving less fucks about what others think of you is like asking your car to run without fuel.

It’s human nature to care what others think, but when you start to rely on the thoughts and opinions of external forces to validate you or give you worth, you’re sorta fucked. Not only does it stifle your genius, but it’s 100% disempowering in life and in business.

Reason #2: What if I’m scaring away good clients?

There’s lotsa people out there who vehemently loathe the F word and they sure as shit won’t want me writing their copy (even though I have zero attachment to putting F-Bombs into anybody’s copy but my own).

But guess what? That’s OH-fucking-KAY.

Rule number ONE in marketing is to identify who your ideal client is. OK, I just lied – I’m actually not sure if it’s rule #1, but, dammit, it’s muy importante.

Why?

Because A) when you don’t nail down the type of client you want to attract, your message is diluted, bland, and more watery than a bad bowl of oatmeal,

And

B) You want to be everything to everyone? It’s gonna hurt you more than it helps you because the longer you keep the wrong clients in your life, the longer you keep the right ones out.

You don’t like my vibe? That’s fine – pearl-clutchers aren’t my ideal client so just carry on and pretend this never happened.

Reason #3: What if people misunderstand?

And by this, I mean, what if they jump to the immediate conclusion that I’m saying you should give less fucks about your business.

THIS IS NOT WHAT I’M SAYING.

But people are notorious for jumping to conclusions before they’ve read the whole page or heard the whole story.

I’m saying that when you give less fucks about what you think you SHOULD be doing, and zero in on what you WANT to be doing… life suddenly looks a whole lot brighter.

I’ll do the best I can to clarify my message so people hear what I want them to, but c’mon… we’re humans and I can’t control the filter through which someone interprets my big, bold, unapologetic words.

My solution? Give less fucks about those people and carry on like a badass bitch.

Reason #4: I want to be accepted.

I mean, really… need I say more? One of the basic conditions of being a human is wanting to feel safe. It’s a good feeling when you’re surrounded by people who appreciate you and like you just the way you are.

And on the flip side of that coin, especially when you give too many of the wrong fucks, it feels like shit when you’re an outsider – maybe some people don’t mind it, but me? I like to have a tribe of people who get me (and I get them) and accept me, warts n’ all.

So, when I say, “Give Less F*cks. Be More You. Sell THAT To The World”, what I really mean is when you stop obsessing about all of the things you think you SHOULD be doing to please the masses and focus on what you love, want, and enjoy… the right people will stop and take notice.

You’ll attract your people.

You’ll be happier.

Your professional life will mesh beautifully with your personal life to form a seamless marriage of who you are and what you do.

What’s one less fuck you can give today so you can spend your energy giving all the right fucks?

I feel like I should sign off with a “YAS QUEEN” or some other millennial cliche, but for now, I’ll just say get dafuq out there and do your thang. You got this.

Want to know how a brand strategy session can help you
give all the right fucks?

Set up a call with me and we’ll chat it out.

Schedule A Call

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The Guts of Your Biz: Web Copy

Woman sitting with coffee. Guts over fear.

You’re not just another billboard on the side of the road, and if you want to be seen, you have to be seen. And just as wherever you go, there you are, action begets outcome.
The sales process begins with words and good web copy will hold your vibe and close-talk to your ideal client. The words and phrases on your site have one purpose… to make you money, and guess what? You can make fat stacks with anti-boring words; pretty words, quirky words, any words, as long as they’re the right words.
You won’t catch 007 in his jammies here. Here, he is Bond. James Bond, true to his essence and stripped to the bone.

About Page

Blast some serious balls with an About Page that weeps brilliance and shows your guts. Custom fit, built from scratch and designed to showcase your mad skilz.
This page is the cornerstone of your site and where you catch your clients The secret? It’s not about you, but you in relation to them.

Home Page

Lions, not lambs. The essence of your product must strut its stuff and dominate those who challenge its supremacy. Mark your turf with a Home Page that leads the pack. Or flock. Or, whatever.
When a prospect lands here, they should know within seconds what you do. Name their problems and list your solutions. Sell, sell, sell.

Services Page

List your services here. Duh. Make them sound cool. Yup.

Blog Posts

If you suck at writing, let the wordsmith do it. There are approximately 10 gabillionzillion blogs out there. If you want to be seen, step up to the ledge, get ready to fall, and I’ll make you fly.

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Tips & Tricks For Creating An About Page (That Doesn’t Suck Ass)

Typing on the computer
Don’t be that guy. Try something new. It’s hard not to sound cliché when telling people why their About Page should be special. Your About Page is the most important page on your…bla bla bla.

BORE-RING

Your About Page must showcase your authentic self. (I’m gonna hurl if I hear “authentic” one more time.)

CLEE-SHAY-HAY

Your About Page tells the story of…more bla bla bla.

KILL ME NOW!

In all fairness, the About Page does tell a story, but I’m bored of boring stories, and I don’t give a flying rat’s ass about your love of growing tomatoes unless you chop that shit up and make me some salsa.

Telling a story should be more than getting from A to Z.

Linear is overrated. Try F to Z to A to G. Mix that shit up. Use caution because this is easier said than done – if you’re not organized about it, you’ll end up with a patchwork quilt that looks like vomit.

YOU: “What do you suggest, Pond. Jill Pond? How do I write an About Page?”

ME: “Well, Timmy, I’m glad you asked! Below you’ll find the complete guide to writing an informative yet compelling About Page. One that doesn’t suck balls.”

YOU: “Oh, thank god. I hate sucking balls.”

ME: “Right?”

So…where to start? Start with F. A is boring, so pick a starting point that isn’t the beginning.

YES: “Selling vacuums door-to-door wasn’t an avocation that called to me, but there I was, spilling water onto an old lady’s carpet to demonstrate the out-of-this-world suction power of the Amazing Fairfax vacuum cleaner. It was a pivotal moment and I suddenly knew that crawling on a stranger’s carpet in a polyester suit was a stinging insult to my intellect. I would not be mediocre anymore.”

NO: “I grew up in Denver, where I rode a horse to school, in the snow, uphill both ways. This sparked my love for travel and I’ve been doing it ever since.”

BARF.

Let me start you on a different path to telling people about yo’ fine-ass self.

Try This:

Be That Kid. Let’s talk about me and my That Kid. Start out with something surprising and unconventional that provokes emotion. From humor to heartstrings; make them feel something. What voice will you use to make them want you?

For Example:
“Were you That Kid, growing up? The weird one? Yeah, that was me, but this isn’t your typical band-camp story, nope, it’s about finding the balls to be myself and embracing my own brand of peculiar exclusivity.”

Who’s your That Kid?

Mine is weirdo kid turned unconventional adult (who is awesome). I found power in “embracing my own peculiar brand of exclusivity”, which is relevant to my clients because it’s how I’m going to help them overcome their problems. That Kid is the hero, the baller, the champion.

Make them want to read more. No matter how tempted you are, DO NOT be cliché. Aim to speak your client’s native tongue; don’t cuss unless granny cusses. Brevity is good; the client is anxious to talk about more important topics, like…the client.

Tell The Client About The Client

Enough about me, let’s talk about you! I love discussing the nuances of my ME, and so does everyone else. Close-talk to your customer about their trials and tribulations. Their struggle is real and you feel their pain.

Standing out is imperative. You’re lost in a herd of competitors, trying to be seen. Be the black sheep. Or green, or yellow – they have to see you if you want to sell them your services.

You’re the expert. Be sure they know that you know what they’re struggling with (The Problem) and that you know how to help (The Solution).

You want to sell your services in a straight-forward, yet riveting manner, but writing appealing copy free of cliché phrases and words is no easy task. This is my thing. Creating beautiful and clever ways to say boring things is my Michael Phelps to your 200 meter fly.

Tell them exactly what you do as it pertains to their needs, and exactly how you’ll help them with The Problem.

For Example:
I write unconventional copy for brands who require a certain je ne sais quoi, or, indefinable and elusive quality to their copy. Your products and services will sell when the words seduce your customers.

More About Me As It Relates To You

This is a good place to pull out the bedazzler and snazz up your jean jacket from 8th grade. Tell a story about you as it relates to them. This is important. Don’t be tempted to prattle on about Whiskers the cat or that time you broke your arm in 5 places – this is precious real estate and you want words that make them heart you so hard.

For Example:
“I’m not preaching to the choir, nope, I spent years trying to shove my weirdness into a box and I accomplished nothing but wasted years that I’ll never get back, and stifling all that made my ME. Still with me? Good. The box must go. So… what happened?”

…my “what happened” is all about the customer.

Tell them again, how and why you’re qualified to help, and what you’re going to do to solve The Problem.

Another Example:
“I write copy and create imagery for avant-garde brands that want words that sell. Let’s dig in, find YOU and put YOU on the page to create copy that would kill if it didn’t have a conscience.”

You’re in this together and now it’s game time. You know the rules, you’ve trained hard, and you’re ready to win. Throw the pitch and lob it on in there so they can hit it out of the gat-dayum park. This is your BIG call to action.

“BUY NOW” “LET’S DO THIS” “GET ‘ER DONE” “GET STARTED”

(seriously… you can click here)

At the bottom of your About Page, take some liberties and show off a bit. Your accomplishments, your experience, and maybe a sentence or 2 about you and your personal life. Brevity is good.

For Example:
“As featured in Cat n’ Paws Magazine.”

“When my children aren’t driving me to drink, we enjoy long walks on the beach and eating copious amounts of sugar.”

Are you ready?

Carve out an hour (or 5), put your pen to paper, and tell us About You. If the thinking about your About Page gives you hives, don’t worry. If you don’t have time, not a problem.

What’s that? You suck at writing?

That’s OK – I love this shit. Let’s talk and let me write a page about you that shows your guts and blasts some serious balls.

“Yes, Please. Write My About Page, Pond, Jill Pond.”

(No, really. You can actually click here.)

Hit Me Up